I honestly do try to be open-minded. But if there is one thing that I just cannot abhor, it is the genre of music known as Hip-Hop, or more specifically, "Gansta Rap". Even though I'm told whenever I turn down another Hollywood blockbuster or animated Disney/Pixar film with a smirk, that I'm stuck-up, and too closed-minded to just enjoy films as they are meant to be enjoyed, I protest! This is not the case! I have watched plenty of Hollywood blockbusters and animated Disney/Pixar films. I even paid to see 2012 at the cinema. Granted, I have regretted that ever since, but I do still enjoy these type of films occasionally. Okay, very rarely. But the point of the matter is, that they really don't have much variation. There's some invasion, there's some adventure, there's a big battle of some kind, the good guys (almost always America) save the day, hooray! The end. And I refer to the wise old saying: "If you've seen one, you've seen em all". Likewise, I have heard enough Hip-Hop to make a generalised and frank decision that it is fucking awful. I'm not particularly aware of the intricacies of different sub-genres here. It's all just Hip-Hop to me, one way or the other. Just like Death Metal, Symphonic Metal, Gothic Metal, Industrial and a bunch of others would all just be Metal to someone who dislikes Metal. So wherever my real hatred may lie in this instance; Hip-Hop, Gangsta Rap, R&B, whatever, I'm just going to refer to it as Hip-Hop to simplify things. To be honest, I have reservations about using the term Gangsta-Rap as it sounds ridiculous. Kind of like Chef-Rock or Librarian-Pop.
I usually try to come up with a logical conclusion as to why people like the things that they do, but when it comes to Hip-Hop, I am at a loss. The reason that this subject has come to my mind is that the fashion designer whom I work for, is quite a fan of the said genre. So much so, that today was dedicated almost entirely to it. At one point he apologised (albeit somewhat jokingly) for the profuse swearing that was to follow in the song that was playing. Now, I don't have any problem with swearing. I swear a lot myself. But when its included in music or writing, it should have a place. And it just didn't. Fuck, cunt, and the word I hate the most, Nigger; all repeated, on a loop, verse after verse, with no discernible narrative behind the swearing. When you feel the need to apologise to two people in their 20s for swearing in a song, however jestingly, there's probably something lacking in the song besides basic literacy.
As far as I can grasp, the back-story of a Hip-Hop song seems to be something like this:
There is a pimp, or some sort of gang member, who is usually the male vocalist (aka rapper), whose monologue includes one or all of the following: Driving a Hummer or other such pimped-out tractor; Rollin' up to the club (which seems to be more important than actually being at the club, so much so that certain Hip-Hop songs focus entirely on reliving this wonderful experience of arriving at the club, in a Hummer, through every chorus); Having some sort of bitch, or otherwise incredibly attractively named hooker, who often has sex with the lead vocalist; which leads on to Sex, which happens frequently, and graphically (my favourite line in this field today was "sliding down my pole like a certified stripper" - everyone can relax, romance is clearly still going strong); Tits, pussy, and other such references to naked women; Drugs, and if they can somehow be snorted from a stripper's back as the rapper fucks her, bonus points for artistic license and ticking all the boxes on the Hip-Hop check list.
If a woman is involved in the song, she seems to either perpetuate the sexist egocentricity of the male vocalist by wailing along in the background and occasionally saying something along the lines of "yeah baby", which must be applauded for sheer ingenuity. When female Hip-Hop vocalists aren't living up to their assigned gender-roles, they are completely reversing them, as in the case of Nicki Minaj, who sings about shitting on people. It seems that there is no end to the aesthetic achievements of this wonderful genre.
The really disheartening part of Hip-Hop, is that the artists seem to put so much time, and so much energy into channeling their talent, that all of it is spent on the vocals. The music seems to be rather irrelevant. At least, I'm assuming that it's irrelevant, because it appears to me that Hip-Hop artists complete the vocals, and then just press whichever button on the keyboard will play a simplistic, monotonous "bum-tsh, bum-tsh, bum-tsh", with a fitting bpm. After the first verse of any given track is over, I already feel as though the track has been repeated far too many times than should be allowed and have the urge to either switch it off violently, or begin stabbing myself in the ears with a pen in time with the never-ending "bum-tsh"!
I think I have justified my opinion enough to pose my initial question once more: why on earth do people actually like this drivel? Why would anyone want to listen to song after song detailing the lives of a pimp and his hookers? It is repetitive, offensive, mindless diarrhoea that almost everyone seems to take a liking to except me. It's even played in gay bars, which is about as confusing as a gay Christian. I was under the impression that the gay scene was supposed to be about expressing equality and individuality. And yet look; everyone is dancing to the song about that poor hooker who is objectified and abused by her pimp. It almost creates a black hole of sheer paradoxical confusion in my mind, which is further intensified by the fact that Hip-Hop fans are under the impression that these people possess actual talent.
I don't usually have any real desire to discuss musical taste. I like what I like, you like what you like, it really doesn't need questioning. Unless we work in the same office where music is played all day at your discretion. And when forced to listen to Hip-Hop for 6 hours a day, it's funny how all of a sudden I do find myself questioning why people listen to fucking Hip-Hop! I can go so far as to admit that there is some level of skill involved in rapping, sometimes, on rare occasions (like when the songs actually have a subject matter beyond fucking or rollin' up to a club). But the majority of the time, it's a string of words put together at random, a few made-up words thrown in to make sure it rhymes, a female solo to make sure the picture of sexist idiocy is well and truly reinforced, a load of imagery to really project the perfectly avaricious pimp lifestyle, certain words or phrases repeated over and over again to give it some length, along with a bunch of swearing to make it suitably intimidating, or rebellious, or whatever the fuck you want to call it. Have I just about got the gist of it?
P.S. I'm pretty sure Hip-Hop was invented in America, so thanks once again America. You are a country that just keeps on giving.
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