Got Blood?

I am aware that I am extremely late in commenting on the following trend, and don't so much want to critique it as just... comment. The trend, or what could be better known as craze, of which I speak, is vampires. What is it about vampires that has teenage girls screaming and fainting in fits of orgasmic fantasies? What is it about vampires that has pretty much all of us, watching or reading something about vampires? What is it about them that is so goddamned sexy?

First of all, I kind of hate the vampire thing (what a surprise). Because as soon as Twilight hit cinemas it suddenly became a cult. The kind of cult formed entirely of the teenage girls I mentioned above. It's not because I hated the very idea. Quite the contrary, I have 'Salem's Lot by Stephen King in illustrated hardback, and I have read a fair few of Anne Rice's books. I have the film adaption of Interview With the Vampire on DVD (Queen of the Damned was fucking shit but let's not go there), I like the older vampire films like The Lost Boys and Fright Night etcetera, etcetera. At university my affinity for horror waned. But nevertheless, I still remember what I really liked about the vampire genre that I had experienced: they were traditional. There was no freaky vampire sex. Just blood and gore. Because isn't that what being a vampire is all about?

Evidently not, because then it all changed. Twilight came along. And gave us vampires in the format of love and chastity, which is not exactly surprising when the author in question is a mormon. And what we have is a fairly ridiculous tale about a girl who falls in love with someone she can't have (a vampire), and it's all very allegorical and metaphorical blah blah blah. It's shit. The idea is unbelievably dull, and I imagine the producers of the film recognised this fact, since the film seems to rely almost entirely on the appearance of the characters. I don't know why anyone would find Robert Pattinson attractive, but clearly it was a master stroke, because young girls screech at the pasty sight of him (vomit). And it appears that with each new film, all that the Twilight saga does is add another few half naked guys to the cast, to keep the interest of it's fanbase (what more do you need when your fanbase is a teenage female cult?). What you have is a boring love affair between a girl and a vampire, and throw in a werewolf or two for good measure, and they manage to drag this out for film after film (and book after book I suppose) by showing the characters with their shirt off (and glittering: what the fuck is that about exactly?). Perhaps the intent of Stephanie Meyer was simply to promote her dogmatic religious agenda. It clearly wasn't because she's a passionate writer. To quote Stephen King, "[she] can't write worth a darn". What she succeeded in was creating a cult of teenage girls who want to fuck vampires and werewolves. Well done.

So is that all there is to it? Vampires are now sexy, and lovely, and tragic? No longer murderous and terrifying, they are things of beauty, and thus have gained a wider acceptance in popular culture? This would be a perfectly mundane and believable reason I suppose, but apparently it is not the case...

I'm not exactly sure whether it is precisely because of Twilight that Vampires have become the "in thing" recently, but it's certainly not unconnected. It's not all bad however, because at around the same time in 2008 that Twilight was released in cinemas, True Blood hit TV screens. Now, I admit that when I watched the first episode of True Blood, I hated the cliche storyline (which is almost exactly the same as Twilight) until I realised that is was all very satirical, and was actually very original. And with each new episode I grew to like it more. In many ways it is the exact opposite of Twilight. Whereas Twilight seems to be about chasitity, and preserving your virginity and a lot of sappy bollocks, True Blood gives in to urges, natural instincts, passions. Whereas Twilight is a love story and frankly nothing more, True Blood comments on various cultural and social issues, not least gay rights ("God hates fangs; Coming out of the coffin" - pure genius). Whereas Twilight is all very feminine, and gentile, and quaint (boooring), True Blood is gritty, and violent, and edgy. Two franchises based around exactly the same narrative, and where one fails so miserably, the other succeeds in being absolutely brilliant.

True Blood is most certainly not just another vampire show. I have been very much an avid fan of Allan Ball since watching Six Feet Under and American Beauty, and he certainly doesn't fail to deliver. It is both one of the darkest, and most hilarious shows I have ever seen; one of the most violent, and one of the soppiest; one of the most cliche, and one of the most original. And although it doesn't need to rely on the cast getting naked to win over its audience, it certainly doesn't hurt every now and again either (Hello Jason, Eric and Alcide). I have already mentioned what I like most about it, and that is the social issues involved (alongside the setting). Its harsh critique of humanity is TV at its best.

So the original stereotype of vampires being cold, and terrible and dangerous isn't completely done away with then. They are not integrated into modern society, at least not fully. What they are is trying, and raising a lot of questions about humanity's tendency to ostracise groups of people as demonstrated throughout history. I think the reason that vampires have become such a large part of modern entertainment is because of this questioning. They are the perfect critique of how human beings behave toward and treat each other. The big question that both Twilight and True Blood raise, is should vampires be treated the same as everyone else? Just as the same question has been raised about so many groups of people throughout history. And they are the perfect metaphor. They question humanity, and their anachronistic existence questions modern culture. The following quote from True Blood is a great example:

"Now the American Vampire League wishes to perpetrate the notion that we are just like you and I suppose in a few small ways we are. We're narcissists. We care only about getting what we want, no matter what the cost, just like you. Global warming, perpetual war, toxic waste, child labour, torture, genocide, that's a small price to pay for your SUVs and your flat-screen TVs, your diamonds, your designer jeans, your absurd garish McMansions. Futile symbols of permenance to quell your quivering spineless souls. But no, in the end, we are nothing like you. We are immortal. Because we drink the true blood. Blood that is living, organic and human. And that is the truth the AVL wishes to conceal from you because let's face it, eating people is a tough sale these days so they put on their friendly face to pass their beloved VRA but make no mistake, mine is the true face of vampires. Why would we seek equal rights? You are not our equals." Russell Edgington

Vampires are metaphors for groups of people worldwide who are demonised and treated with prejudice. Both now, and throughout history, blacks, Jews, homosexuals, women, Muslims, the list goes on, have faced prejudice and genoicide at he hands of humanity. I think there are a number of reasons for the surge in popularity of the vampire genre in the last year or two. Presenting them as shirtless hotties for teenage girls to drool over is one reason. Presenting them not so differently from people, and raising the question of whether it is okay to fall in love with them is another, and this is when it begins to break into modern society; race relations, sexuality etc. The most obvious one that True Blood focuses on is homosexuality, with all its stereotypes. The quote above gives the opinion of just one vampire, not an entire race, which is extremely applicable in a society dominated by generalised prejudice. But this is getting a bit deep...

Basically, I think vampires are popular because yes, I guess they are quite sexy, I'd like a vampire to drink my blood as much as the next person. But more importantly, I think the status of the vampire genre has risen in popularity because of this change or attempt to change perceptions from monsters or objects of fear/hate, to members of society. This is exactly what minorities have done throughout history, and continue to do now. Personally, I am all too familiar with this concept. Gay people are still branded as sick and immoral by religions the world over (exactly as vampires are branded in True Blood), and although we can be open about sexuality in the UK, other countries have a long way to go. It is the sense of struggle, or overcoming obstacles that people love to see so much in films. Harry Potter is another example of this. Honestly, I've dropped Twilight as an example because it's just not that meaningful:

"Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity [...] Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend" Andy Futral

So altogether, vampires have changed their image. They have a had a makeover. Now they can walk down the street and oh... they are hot. Sure, some people still hate them. The Westboro Baptist church have added another website to their list (www.godhatesfangs.com), but on the whole they are more accepted. You can even have a relationship with one now and (most) people won't judge you for it. My, what a progressive world we live in.

December Traditions

Ah December, you're an odd one. I feel good about you one year, and despise you the next. Birthday, Christmas, and (though not as much) New Year's. Two years ago I had my 20th birthday, and then spent Christmas in Berlin. Probably the best December I can recall. Last year was bad. This year was worse, because it was simply nothing special, and left me feeling more disillusioned than ever. A month that I used to love, it has gradually become one that I expect the worst from.

Birthdays become less appealing, and more depressing the older you get. Celebrate the big ones. Throw an awesome 18th birthday party and an even bigger 21st. Because that's the last one with all those good birthday-type feelings. Turning 22 makes you realise that every year you are just getting older, and that there's not much left to celebrate. Hell, I'll celebrate anyway, if only to detract from the nostalgia of how birthdays are when you're young. But feeling older just ain't what it used to be.

Christmas is much the same. But for quite different reasons. Christmas is something to be cherished when you are a kid, but has become something I have very few good feelings about. I don't hate Christmas per se. I like drinking from the moment I wake up, and I like the nice food, but that's about as far as my praise stretches. And the former doesn't come without criticism. What I do hate about Christmas is the way that we, Brits, celebrate it. I don't know exactly what the original meaning and traditions of Christmas are, but I'm pretty sure it isn't spending all the money you have on wrapping paper, a dead tree, an obscene amount of food and alcohol, and then spending all day in front of a TV screen. For two months or more every year we see tacky decorations cover buildings, the streets become crowded by masses of frustrated and hectic shoppers, and almost every store window becomes home to some gaudy festive display. And for what?

I sat on Christmas morning watching my younger sisters open hundreds of pounds worth of gifts, complain about most of them, and move on to the next, just like so many other children were doing across this country, and numerous others. And I couldn't help thinking about the greed. While we all opened our boxes and bags of colourful excess, and gorged ourselves on Christmas feasts, people elsewhere in the world continued to starve, and die, and live in poverty, whilst we remain oblivious. Christmas doesn't provide a relief for everyone. And all the months of preparation, and money spent, all the stress is, as my stepmother pointed out, for just a couple of hours, on one day out of 365.

I think it is safe to say now that the real reason for my distaste and dislike of Christmas stems almost entirely from my dislike of Capitalism. Like Valentine's Day, I think it's a way to pressure people into spending money, that many can barely afford in the current economic climate (I can barely afford to eat let alone buy gifts), all so the big corporations can boost their profits. And the fact that the Christmas decorations creep into the stores before Halloween in some instances just emphasises this season of consumerist excess.

Now I have had plenty of good Christmas's spent with my family. I am familiar with the arguments about getting time off work and spending time and money on the people you love and rarely get to see, and I can understand these reasons for liking Christmas as much as anyone else. But on a lower and more mundane level, it is all so on the nose. I enjoy walking around London without being barged about by angry Christmas shoppers, and without the addition of tacky lights and decorations. I enjoy hearing normal music in stores in December and not nauseating modern Christmas tunes on a loop (thanks Starbucks). And all the faux-Christmas cheer frankly just irritates me (Stop being so happy you freaks!) More than anything, I just don't see what all the fuss is about.

The Christmas season as it has come to be known, stretches on for around 8 weeks, and city life completely changes to accommodate it. But once all the wrapping paper is thrown out and all the food eaten, it's over, just like that. I have become bored with the routine of it. Spending Christmas in Berlin was good because it was a different country, with different traditions, and it was exciting. On Christmas day the public transport was running, the city centre was vibrant. People weren't sat at home watching bad TV and stuffing their faces. They were out at the markets with friends and family, ice skating, drinking, having fun with the rest of the city. Christmas in Britain is a victim of it's own traditions, traditions which don't appeal to me in the slightest.

And the month-long piss up continues on New Year's Eve, which is simply, the last chance to get shit-faced before making all those resolutions to change your habits. Now I'm not going to complain about parties. For New Year's Eve I went to Glow Ball/Squelcher at the Renaissance Rooms in Vauxhall, and had one of the best nights out of the year. I just don't really get it. It's a load of fuss and excitement over a clock hitting midnight; something that happens every night. It's a little strange to me, but when taken solely as an excuse to have a party or go to some amazing club it can't be a bad thing (unless the party is hugely disappointing, as has been the case for many NYEs of the past).

So 2010 is over. Let's be honest, it was a pretty shit year overall. I finished my degree and moved to London, only to be greeted by a Tory government, budget cuts, rising unemployment, rising VAT to name a few reasons. Cynical as always, I doubt that 2011 will be any better with the current political and economic circumstances, but we can hope. Can't we? My only resolution this year is to be more active. To keep up to date on the news by reading the paper, to take more approaches to actually finding a job because frankly, I am fucking sick of being broke, and to spend more time writing. Generally, I need to get out of this apartment more and enjoy living in London.

Goodbye 2010.